The Evil Company
From the office of Field Marshall Mobutu:
A question to you, our faithful consumers:
Or is your head strangely sized?
Maybe you should explore my fine collection of hats, perfect for the enterprising dictator or fashionable autocrat:
Now available starting at $49.99 from milliners everywhere.
Field Marshall Mobutu
Field Marshall Mobutu is head of the Evil Company Clothing and Pesticides Department. He is passionate about hats, socks, and canal building.
*Evil Co. not responsible for loss of appetite, loss of scalp, brain spasms, brain damage, nausea, mustache rash, tooth loss, googly eyes, loss of consciousness, nose bleeds, coughing fits, projectile vomiting, oily stool, disruptive back hair growth, random gorilla assaults, swollen feet, lycanthropy, obsessive boot wearing, or loss of income or limbs due to use of the Evil Co. Vacuum Cap.
A message to you, the American Voter, from Viceroy Merde-Auq, head of the Media and Telecommunications Division and Admiral of the High Seas:
Viceroy Merde-Auq
Thanks to the recent Supreme Court ruling, the Media and Telecommunications Division can finally air all manner of political advertising to cajole and intimidate the unwashed masses into voting for the candidates or issues of our choosing. Gone are the days of pesky uncorrupted lawmakers legislating against a Product that may cause cancer or a secret project that may mean the end of life on earth. Here’s a toast to the Supreme Court!
In celebration of this new-found freedom, the Media and Telecommunications Division in association with the Marketing and Propaganda Department will set up a YouTube channel dedicated to the greatest Evil Company political propaganda advertisements broadcast worldwide over the last 50 years, including such hits as:
“Global Warming is a lie designed to deny your children their constitutional right to Carbon Dioxide and high temperatures”
“Salute Mr. Pinochet or suffer the consequences”
“Nuclear weapons are for using, not looking! Nuke Ceylon now!”
“Jimmy Carter clubbed your baby with a bald eagle”
And of course, the classic “The people want whale oil”
